One of the largest discrepancies between the human and horse perception of life that I have noticed is time..
Embracing The Natural Rhythm
To align with the herd and become part of their world, the subtlety of it, takes time. When I say time, I mean accepting the gentle flow of change. Allowing it. Listening to the truth that doesn’t make itself obvious at the surface.
It is a truth that is quieter, gentler, less about ‘what is’ and more intertwined with dreams and potential and possibility. It is like a spider web in its delicacy, and yet its innate strength is what changes the world.
So throughout my experience in this life it has, for whatever reason, been essential to remember that rhythm. To gradually disengage from the pressure of the human rhythm, and allow space for the horse. Inside of that has been the understanding that it is not exclusively ‘horse’ but ‘Nature’ and ultimately that is human as well. In our modern life we tend to ride over the top of this one-ness and then we can’t hear the subtle dialogue itself.
The Subtle Dialogue with Quaramba
Detaching myself from a more conventional life, and becoming open to the natural rhythm has been challenging in many ways, but a great joy in itself. In practical terms, with the herd, we might take many weeks to embrace a dialogue. To allow it to fall like the lightest particles of dust into our minds. To settle and form and evolve the bond between us.
Since I started working with Soul Herd, which is such a delightful project, it has shifted my focus a little. My collaboration with the herd has become less scripted somehow, more incidental. More spontaneous, less of a ‘thing that we do’ and more of a thing we enjoy. During this time, looking back now, it is miraculous to see what has happened and put it into words. Because it has happened so easily and naturally, and yet it is what I dreamed of.
The Dream Unfolding
During this time Quaramba has accepted my invitation to turn it all around. Now she invites me. She has even insisted that I get on her back. She has communicated that I am welcome to stay for as long as I wish to.
She has also said ‘not today’ and she has not wanted to share togetherness. This has all happened with such subtlety, such straightforward, unsolicited ease. In horse time, at horse rhythm. Which is becoming my rhythm as I find the depth in myself to embrace it.
The herd, pioneered in this instance by Quaramba, made it clear through subtle dialogue that we would be collaborating without equipment. This part of our journey is all described in my previous blogs. Since I understood this, I have been becoming the vibrational match for it. To trust and allow, without conditioning. To be open in each moment to our dialogue without inserting any demands has required (what feels like) a quantum leap in my vibration.
Yet it is as simple as imagining what it would be like to sit on Quaramba, to balance and respond. To be embraced and held by her. And more than that, what it would be like to be asked by her, to be welcomed and invited. For it to turn around and be about me saying yes, or even no…
The herd started to take up residence in the summer barn, as they do when the weather heats up. I would sit on the bars of the gates because they are high enough to be near Quaramba’s back, and scratch her ears or her back. Occasionally I would feel to her about sitting on her back and lean over. She would stand for a minute or two, and then kind of slide away.
She was certainly preparing herself, I see that now. She was also becoming. Raising her vibration to meet this new collaboration. This connection we had was not regular or particularly frequent. We took a while to come to the point of asking each other ‘are we ready’ and when we weren’t yet, we would float away from each other and time would pass before another moment arrived.
Joy of a Thousand Joys
In one of these times, Quaramba didn’t slide away. She waited in the way that horses make waiting a thing in itself. A meditation, an embodiment of this moment in time. So I got on to her back, only the second time that she has ever carried me, or anyone, and this time it was fully received by every part of her. It was the joy of a thousand joys. She felt so soft and familiar and steady and real.
She walked around to stand with Honey, and we just sat for a while absorbing the magnitude. When I got off she curled her neck around me and we held each other for a long time. We had experienced such a miracle, and we needed to hold it, together, and amplify it between us. She knew what this was, she knew the size of this, the wonder of it, the awe of it. And yet it seemed like nothing at all… I had to remind myself that this was the first time, it felt as if we had been doing this forever.
The next time the moment arrived, again Quaramba waited, and I got on her. She walked around a little, and like the first time, went back into the herd to rebalance. It is part of our collaboration to re-merge with the herd, to ground back into the whole. After a minute she walked back over to the gate and lined herself up with it in one fluid, and quite expressive motion.
It was almost that she swung herself round, and there was a particular sense about it… but not that she wanted me to get back off. It felt that she wanted to make sure that I could if I wanted to, and maybe that I would, if she asked. She was almost making the structure of it clear in her mind. I did get back off her because that was in alignment with her plan. She hasn’t lined herself back up to the gate since however, so it seems that she just needed to know that she could offer that.
At some time during these encounters the subtle shift happened. It was no longer me offering, but Quaramba inviting me. When I would approach and climb up on the bars, she would come over and line up for me to get on. There was a very particular energy those days. A kind of richness in the air, and a sense of potency. She was enjoying her autonomy and her empowerment.
One day I was feeling a bit flat about things, and Honey called me across to the barn. She has such a radiant personality it is impossible not to be boosted! Quaramba saw me with Honey, and she came up and actually pushed herself alongside, practically underneath me and swept me on to her back. It was amazing. Up until then I had always felt a time limit would be reached for staying on her back, but not this time. There was a sense of eternal inclusivity, or being supported and held in the softest, friendliest place… forever.
Germinating the Share
I decided to video one of our encounters, so I could share Quaramba’s invitation with others. This day she stayed away, deep within the other horses. I spoke to her and she gave me the sliding away feeling. She physically turned her body around and pointed out the door just in case I didn’t understand!
It was windy that day, so maybe that influenced her, but there was something for her about sharing and losing the potency. As if sharing was a threat, and it dissipated the richness of our collaboration.
That day I put on some binaural beats music for the horses, they love that sometimes when they are resting. Then we tuned into the sharing concept and a new understanding came through. I felt Quaramba’s vortex, her source vibration, golden and orange and red, like lava rippling out. The sharing was expanding it and radiating it out, not diminishing it. She saw that. So we let that sink in for a while.
Sharing the Invitation
Over the next days, or weeks, I could feel it growing. That meditation within the herd was the germination, and every day, or maybe every awakened moment, there was an expansion. Until one day I knew she was ready to share. Of course everything we all do with our horses and ourselves is happening within the collective on the vibrational level. But we are also here, embodied on this physical reality, and there is something particular about sharing on that plane.
Tristan came down to video, and he was gently embraced by the herd. The events unfolded so beautifully, there was no sense of forcing or fabricating. It was a gift for us and an offering to the horse collective. Subtle and miraculous at the same time. And so perfect in that it is always the beginning of the journey.